Dear sis,

I am grateful for these days where I am not feeling like everything in this moment is urgent.   I am usually one who needs to keep checking things off her list.   But discovering how to relax and simply being in the moment, is pretty special.

It actually started as soon as I came home from the hospital.   I was so well looked after.   I was forced to slow down.   When Kerri took over in week two, she and I would spend our evenings watching an episode of “Suits” – then she got me into “This is Us.”  (I am a Netflix Virgin so this was all new to me) and by 9:45pm we were streaming The National to get our highlights.

After she left, I continued watching, “This Is Us” and I binged watched it !!!   I said to a friend,”I would watch an episode and I would think, “OK I am done now” but then the next episode just starts up – count down 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1 so before you know it, you are sucked right back into it and 5 hours of your day has gone by.”

The time I knew I could not continue doing this in my life,  is when Jenna walked into the room and I was sobbing.  When she asked, “Mama, are you crying over a show?”  I responded, “But you don’t understand.  Jack just died !!!!  And the way he died was so sad.  In this crazy fire !!!  He was the best father and husband ever !!!!”

Seriously, I cannot be a Netflix binge watcher.  I would have no life.   But I have started watching the Anthony Bourdain series “Parts Unknown”.   I may not binge watch this one because there are no kids/husbands/siblings for me to get emotionally invested in lol

We are all taking steps in so many different directions.  Learning (and some not) so many lessons.  But there is one thing to always remember, that in the end, we all arrive to the same destination.

In my journey,  I am needing experiences to fuel me more now than ever before.  I realize how close the end really is.  It must be a 50 thing.  Or because both my parents died at 57 and 58.  So young yet compared to so many that never even made it to 50, or the children I interview / meet via Make A Wish….. maybe not “so young”.

Yesterday,  I started feeling myself get a little anxious with my suitcases not being here.   I know it’s just “stuff” that can be replaced but there were sentimental items that were in there.

Karen, I brought you back prayer beads from India.    I had “tea” that I wanted to share with friends.  Small, inexpensive items – bracelets that I purchased of the artist –  as he was sitting on the floor surrounded by all his pieces.

When I went to put on my  “go to” earrings and necklace, I suddenly realized, “Oh right,  all my jewelry is in the suitcase.   So I started looking through different pieces, that I hardly ever wear.   Not sure why I don’t wear them, maybe I have become a  creature of habit ?

As I looked through several items, I picked up matching earrings, a bracelet and a ring.  I held them in my hand for a moment.

They were made for me by a young lady named Yanti.  When I met Yanti at the Orphanage last year in Bali, I could sense something very special about her.   Her story is tragic yet she is happy, wants to be a doctor and is so loved by her “family” at JOS.

Yanti made them for me as a going away gift.   When I put them on, it felt so good.  Comforting. Love.

Perspective can be found everywhere and anywhere.   Use your emotional guidance.  Tune in to it and watch how life will start to look differently.   It’s amazing.

It really doesn’t take much, does it sis ?

I love you, I am now going to go for a walk and leave all my household chores till whenever 🙂

Kathy xo

ps.  Karen, the other night I went to see Bohemian Rhapsody….OMG I was amazing.  I have been playing Queen non stop for the last 72 hours.    It brought back so many memories.  I will have to ask our brother but I think our first Album was AC/DC – Back in Black ??  Or was it a Zeppelin album ?  Mmmmmm I bet you know the answer 🙂