Dear sis

I want you to know that you really do inspire me to write these blogs.   A couple of months ago when a friend got us set up via FaceTime,  I asked if you enjoyed hearing some of my stories.  You “blinked blinked blinked blinked” and of course knowing that is our signal for “yes”,  it made me happy.

Well Christmas and New Years’s for me has come and gone, and it is now New Year’s day for me.   I love the start to a New Year !!!  We made it sis 🙂 

Two weeks ago,  your daughter Samantha turned 19 and Carter will be turning 17 in February.   I recall many years ago you wanting to ensure that both kids had a birthday gift from you when they turned 16.    Considering what the doctors were telling us, we were all so unsure of the future.    Here we are in 2019 !!!!!

Christmas 2018 was very different for me.    As you know for the last 8 years Jenna’s dad and I have managed to spend every Christmas together, with the exception of one.    I would stay Christmas Eve at his house and in the morning we would wake up on the 25th together.   Jenna would always tell me that it was her favourite day of the year because we were together as a family.

However last year, Christmas day was a little difficult for me.   I found myself missing you (my family), my wonderful friends whom I call my BC family and or celebrating the way I personally wanted to spend Christmas.   Jenna is now 13 and is starting to realize how different her dad and I really are.  He is a very good person, a wonderful father and supports me as his daughter’s mother in so many ways, but to be truthful, it was time to “break the mold”. 

When I was in the hospital, I was presented with a travel opportunity.  I would say to friends, “A trip of a lifetime.”  However my friend Kerri, who knows me best said, “What are you talking about Kathy.  These kinds of opportunities come your way all the time.  You will have at least a dozen more in your lifetime.  This is not a once in lifetime opportunity for you.” 

I thought about what she said and it is so very true.   I feel like I am the most fortunate person in the world with all the connections and friends I have made in my lifetime.     

Years ago, there was a 75 year Harvard Study that was done on what makes people happy.    Everyone can come up with their own list or as I call them “conditions”.    Some people may say money, a large home, a beautiful car or a partner will make them happy.   But in the end the study concluded that the happiest people in the world are the people who connect with others.  I certainly am one big believer in this.  There is nothing more that fuels my heart and soul than connecting with people.   Being kind to all.  Listening to their stories.  Sharing my stories.  Being real.  Being true.  Being vulnerable.  

When this opportunity was presented, I had 48 hours to commit or not.   I was scared.  How could I leave everyone this Christmas – including Jenna – and selfishly “take off”.   Plus I was in full recovery post surgery.   I talked to my nurse, the care aid, close friends, anyone who could help with my decision.    I asked my doctor who said,  “Sounds like the best way to recover Kathy.   Anything you can do right now that is related to being stress free, do it.” 

So I did.  I committed.

As soon as I left the hospital, I said to my friend, “I need to stop at Kelly’s.  Jenna’s dad’s house.”    As always, he was supportive.  I talked to Jenna.   I started off the conversation by saying, “Sweetie, I hope you realize how fortunate you are that your parents have managed to spend the past 8 Christmas’s together for you.”  She got it.   Of course she was sad, but I made her a promise we would do special things together before I left. 

As the date drew closer, I started to have concerns.  The discomfort on my right side persisted, my energy was still quite low, I was nervous to eat certain types of foods.   I was feeling like I had a new body.  One that I had to try to figure out.  Make some adjustments. 

When I had my follow up appointment with my doctor, he said to me, “You have 100% my approval to board an airplane but if you are away from home and have a bowel obstruction, you will be in for some trouble.”  I panicked a little.  Fuck.  What I have done ?  Why am I taking this risk ?

Because we have one life.  Taking risks is what life is all about.

I pushed through my fear and I stayed positive.    I released any negative thoughts I had in my head and said, “I can do this.”

So yes, I had Christmas and the start to this New Year, very far away from home.   I am being very “quiet”, low key about this journey.    I am now living very much in the moment, doing all for me.   It feels so good !!!!

My last Facebook post was a picture (below) of Jenna and I.  In the post I noted, “Christmas is not an easy time for many of us.  That is why it is our own personal responsibility to find “OUR OWN HAPPY.”  If there is one responsibility that we all have in life that is it.”

So my wish for everyone is to be happy.  Be free. Be selfish.  Do whatever you need to do to live your life.  Do not worry about judgmental people.  Live for you.  

If “Plan A” in your life is not working out, than embrace  “Plan B or C or D”.    Once you do, this is when the real test of your character comes in.   It is all about how you handle the next chapter in your life.   

So fill up your book with as many chapters as you can….and trust the process along the way. 

Happy New Year !!!

I love you sis,

Kathy xo

ps. Karen, JP’s sister sent me a message the other day…I was so happy when she sent me a pic of you saying you looked the best she has seen in a long time.  Continue having that incredible spirit you have, touching so many people the way you do.   Thinking of you JP and wishing you a very happy and healthy 2019 !!! xo